This weekend has been busy for me. I've been working four days out of the week now---Thursday through Sunday. I'm pretty used to it now, and just need to work on using my time wisely when I am home throughout the week and before/after work. Working keeps me busy and helps me to spend my time wisely.
On Sunday, I served in the nursery at my church. I enjoy caring for infants a lot. We also have a little girl who comes to the nursery each week, who is 2 and a half years old with special needs. I really like working with special needs children. I was with her and she just melts my heart. While I was holding her, she was smiling and I could really tell she liked to have one-on-one attention. She smiled a lot. Being with her, really makes you appreciate the little things in life. People like her are so innocent, and they view the world differently than you and I... they don't view people with judgment, they take in life one day at a time, and don't complain about what they can't do, but take joy in the things that can do. I can see the sparkle in her eyes and her little smile... it is just a joy to be around special needs children. She can't talk, but makes noises and tries to form little words. I know she can understand and I believe special needs children have a voice inside them, even if they are non-verbal. I feel so gifted in this area and it is something I really want to do for my future. I feel called to work with special needs children, but I sometimes doubt myself and think thoughts like ones such as I'm not capable of doing so; But, I believe in myself and I have faith that God has a plan for my future... I just need to learn to be patient and to believe in myself more.
I so want to make my dream come true and work towards my goals for a career working with special needs children. I know I can do it, even if others don't think I can. I am very capable of doing a lot of things, I can do plenty of things if I just believe in myself and am determined enough to. Anything is possible as long as you don't give up. Challenging yourself is a part of life and it is the only way to grow as a person, to step outside of comfort zones and to get anywhere in life.
My church is currently going through a message series called "Courageous Choices", and a lot of it can be applied to my life. All of us have to make choices in our lives, and we want to make courageous choices... choices that we need to make wisely, because every choice we make are choices that impact our future, whether in the near future or the far future.
I am learning to pray more, and need to apply it to my life a lot more, I admit, I don't pray very often, and I know I should. I also don't read my bible very much. I try to, and when I do, I sometimes don't even feel like I'm really trying to understand and apply what I read to my life. It takes time and patience, as well as obedience. I feel like I am just going through the motions, every single day. I don't do much when I am home, and usually just pass the time by on the computer or watching tv, although I do work four days out of the week and go to church every week... I need to make the change and apply the messages I hear at church, to my life, instead of just agreeing with it and relating to it, applying it to my life is actually taking the next step and doing something.
I sometimes feel like my relationship with God is far, and my faith is just stalled, but then I remember that God is not far from me, He is always right there next to me, watching over me, and guiding me through life, He is with me at all times. When I think I am far from God, I always remember this. It can be so easy to forget that God's presence is right there with us at all times... we go through the motions and live in a world full of sin.
But, what I find that really is helps and makes a huge difference is to read the bible daily, to pray often, to listen in church and apply the messages to our lives. Even making limits for yourself in what you listen to, watch on tv, or the movies you watch... as well as the way you dress. I have already started making choices like that in my life. I have made the decision to dress modestly, to listen to only Christian music with a good and positive message to it, and to watch tv shows and movies that are clean and have good messages. I don't need to hear or see stuff that is bad for my mind, it won't help me go anywhere in my faith.
I have been listening and watching the messages from my church online at http://www.eaglebrookchurch.com and listening via podcast on iTunes every now and then, even though I have already heard them, because I want to remember the messages and apply them to my life. It really does help. It is important to make choices that help us grow in our faith and grow as a person, and praying, going to church on a regular basis, listening to positive Christian music, watching clean and appropriate movies and tv shows really do help make a significant improvement in your faith and relationship with God.
I have been a Christian my whole life, as I grew up in a Christian home and family, and at one point in my childhood, I felt so close to God, but as I grew older up until now, I honestly don't feel as close... my relationship isn't nearly as strong, but I am growing a day at a time... I may feel like my faith hasn't improved very much but it is, slowly but surely it is. I'm growing closer to God each day and in time.
I know there will always be struggles in life, and that is all the more reason why we need God in our lives, why we need to strengthen our relationship with the Lord, because He will help us through and be there with us every step of the way. We need God in our life to feel alive and to truly live instead of going through the motions. We need His love and to live with a purpose, which is only possible with God. God is love and He will always be there for you, He will take all of your sins from you. God has a purpose for you, He has a future planned for you. He died for you. For your sins, because He cares about YOU.
Don't live your life by a label you were given. You are not a label. Don't live your life by accepting a label and believing it. Walk away from living as just average. Challenge yourself and live your life by living life with a meaning.